By Jude Egbas
Here’s a little confession to make your day:
I spend an unhealthy amount of time behind closed doors each night, wrapping my head around which group of persons to pin the blame on for Nigeria’s woes. Those worrying sessions banging my head on the walls of my study probably account for my receding hairline.
So, you could imagine my relief last week when Hajiya Zainab Kuchi, Nigeria’s Minister of State for Power, told a group of South African Investors that she knew who was responsible for the problems in the perpetually inchoate power sector. Hear her:
“We must resolve to jointly exorcise the evil spirits behind this darkness and allow this nation take its pride of place in the comity of Nations.”
Evil spirits. Exorcise.
Why I had never thought about this group as purveyors of all that is wrong with Nigeria, still beats me. It was like an epiphany for me– a Eureka moment! Hajiya Kuchi threw me a lifeline and put me out of my head-banging misery in one fell swoop.
Bless You, Hajiya! Flesh and blood did not reveal this to you but…
Here are five other sectors of the Nigerian Economy where a coven of Evil Spirits have sunk their talons, in recent times…
1. Roads: On the 13th of May, The Nation reported the Health Minister, Prof Onyebuchi Chukwu, as stating that Nigeria has the second highest road accident fatalities among the 193 countries polled for the study. According to the Minister, Nigeria records 162 deaths on our roads per 100,000 human beings.
Our road infrastructure is in such poor state, nationwide. Three months ago, I embarked on a road trip from Cross River to Awka in Anambra and probably counted a dozen accidents for every five kilometres travelled. Most of these mishaps were caused by deplorable road surfaces.
Thanks to the Minister of State for Power, we now know that the Ikom-Ogoja, Odukpani-Uyo, Ikot Ekpene-Aba, Enugu-Onitsha, Ore-Benin, Abuja-Lokoja and so many others, may never be fixed until we appease the Evil Spirits who gobble huge contract sums approved for repair of some of the worst road networks in sub-Saharan Africa.
Evil Spirits are responsible for hiring Setraco; a construction firm which serves as a front for some of Nigeria’s past and present corrupt public officials. Evil Spirits have ensured Setraco has been unable to fix the East-West Road in South-South Nigeria. Evil Spirits…they just have a way of making sure our roads remain blood-sucking conduits.
2. Health: In the last eight months, I have lost an Aunt and Uncle to the poor state of our health facilities. They had to die because like several others, we could not afford the cost of flying them abroad for better medical care. They had to die, because Evil Spirits have ensured that our hospitals remain consulting clinics. They had to die because while a small percentage of Public Fat Cats can hop on the next flight abroad to treat the commonest cold condition, the health facilities in my part of the country could not afford the commonest of syringes.
Writing in the Nigeria Social Enterprise Report, Volume 5 (Page 170), Grace Bethel captured the Health Care scenario in Nigeria this way:
“In rural settings with poor access roads and where available public health facilities are located quite far from the poor, especially women and children who are in dire need of these services, the death toll from preventable childhood diseases and maternal mortality remains quite high.”
No thanks to Evil Spirits, the best of our doctors have left these shores for better working conditions in climes where Evil Spirits have been kept at bay. Evil Spirits ensure that, like the rest of the public sector, our medical practitioners are poorly remunerated and badly treated. The bloody Evil Spirits!
3. Corruption: I am not even going to cite the latest Gallup Poll where Nigeria won a silver medal on the corruption stakes, because Reno Omokiri never agrees with me, El-Rufai or Gallup for that matter. Reno never agrees with anyone else but his co-travellers in the corruption cesspit that is the PDP, anyway. Reno is like that.
Actually, after last week, I have learned to look beyond Reno into the esoteric world of Evil Spirits. It has to be their fault that the Number One citizen in the land mounted the soapbox to declare in soaring rhetoric: “I don’t give a damn about Assets declaration!”
It has to be the fault of Evil Spirits that President Goodluck Jonathan told the nation a fortnight ago that he just couldn’t re-open the case files documenting the Halliburton and Siemens corruption scams. Blame it on Evil Spirits as well that this administration has not been able to bring one corrupt, high-ranking oil subsidy thief to book, in spite of the huge sums which have been expended on setting up countless probe committees. Evil Spirits…e no go beta for una o!
4. National Stadium, Lagos And Other Matters: The reason why the National Stadium, Surulere, Lagos, has become the number one beer spot in the nation has to be because since we co-hosted the Nations Cup with Ghana in 2000, Evil Spirits have made sure that the national edifice stays abandoned to Ojez Entertainment.
The National Stadium in Lagos was once the pride of the country. Today, the smell of urine, filth and unkempt indoor halls, hang in the air and herald you as you breeze into the edifice to order for your own share of goat pepper-soup and murderously chilled bottle of Gulder from waiters who do not “Give a damn”.
Like the National Stadium, like all Federal Universities, like the National Theatre and Federal Roads in Lagos. Evil Spirits– they have made sure we are unable to maintain anything in Nigeria, including a pin. They have ensured we are unable to re-grass a football turf!!
5 Education: My friend, a young woman named Tricia Ikponmwonba (@dishdtrish), runs a pet project she fondly calls “Stay In School Nigeria”. Tricia’s aim is to ensure that she gets as many young boys and girls of school age to remain in school, in her own little way.
Last week she sent me a picture of a bedraggled young man she was cuddling. “Meet my new friend”, she announced. “He is very intelligent, but in 21st Century Nigeria, he goes to school under the trees.”
That young man (and several others Tricia intends to give another shot at Education) is not alone. Public schools all over Nigeria have fallen apart. According to the Millennium Development Goals (MDGs) 2010 Report published by the Federal Government of Nigeria “Regional differences in school enrolment are stark. State Primary Completion rates range from 2 per cent to 99.9 percent…low completion rates reflect poor learning environments and point to the urgent need to raise teaching standards…”
As you drive to work, look outside your windshield. Did you catch a glimpse of the young man making a slap dash movement past cars in traffic with sausages adroitly balanced on his head? Did you notice the other little boy with a bottle of water and a duster who attempts to wipe your windshields, even though he looks like he could use a wash himself?
Evil Spirits have ensured they are out of school and eking a dangerous living in the bedlam of the city. Evil spirits can’t give them a chance at education because Evil Spirits do not realise that those starry eyed young men hold the keys to our future economy.
So, there goes my short list of the ‘Evil Spirits Hall of Shame’. This list is by no means exhaustive. Share yours with me because I will like to read you too. Just let me know a few other ways you feel Evil Spirits have been wrecking our nation. Let’s kick Evil Spirits out of Nigeria!
Egbas is a brand consultant and public affairs analyst. You can catch him on twitter @egbas.