•Mrs Ademowo
Last week, we featured the great matriarch of the Diocese of Lagos (Anglican Communion), the delectable wife of the articulate and popular Dean-Emeritus of the Church of Nigeria, The Most Rev. Ephraim Adebola Ademowo, who recently turned 60 and was treated to series of well-deserved appreciation party by the women, children and in fact the entire members of the Diocese. In this conclusive chat with Senior Correspodnent, ARAMIDE OIKELOME, Mrs. Oluranti Ademowo, popularly called ‘Mama Lagos’ speaks glowingly about her husband. She also opens up on some of her challenges and future aspirations. Excerpts:
Would you want to share with us some of those critical issues you have faced, maybe as a clergy’s wife, as a mother or as an individual?
I must say that because of my make, I always encourage people to live a life of giving; not a life of taking. If I have the opportunity to counsel brides-to-be, I tell them that marriage has to do with giving, not receiving. When you live a life of giving, it doesn’t matter if that man is not doing this or that. Your concern is “what do I do?” not “what am I getting.” I do whatever I do without expecting any reward. For example, in the ministry, people talk of saboteurs or people not cooperating but I don’t see them as un-cooperative people, rather I see them as people that are yet to catch the vision. If you are yet to catch the vision, you will be slow or be an onlooker. It is not that you are not friendly or that you are bad. It is just that you are yet to catch the vision. I tell people that a vision given to you is not everybody’s vision. It is you that will have to carry that vision and present it in a way that is acceptable. Even when nobody is cooperating with you, you will have to carry it on because you are the one God gave the vision to. It is while you are moving on with it that people will be convinced to align with you. Take for instance, when we got to Lagos, I told all the clergies wives in the archdiocese that as far as I am concerned, you are all holding clean slates. I don’t listen to stories; I don’t want to hear- somebody has done this or that because if you tell me that somebody said something, I will ask you what you said when you heard it or what you were doing there. So, people are always weary to come and tell me tales. Of course that lessens my trouble. Most of the time when we talk of people not cooperating; you give room by your action and inaction. For all you care, it might just be that these people are yet to understand the vision. Over time, they may key into the vision or they may not even believe in it but we cannot quarrel or fight with such people.
Talking about your husband, The Most Rev. Adebola Ademowo, much as he is seen as a very forthright man, many also see him as a difficult, cocky and arrogant clergy. Most times, such people are short tempered and can easily snap at people. How is it like being married to such a man?
My husband is a very stern man. He is a perfectionist. He loves me to a fault but even with that, he does not waste a second to correct me when I go wrong. You cannot go free if you don’t do it right. But over the years, he has given me opportunities to develop. So, I see those corrections as an opportunity to get better. I don’t take offence. You know, it is a privilege to have somebody who is always looking after you to do it right. I see him more as my teacher than my husband. He is a very simple man. All he requires is for you to do it right. He can’t work with a lazy person and he doesn’t leave what he can do today till tomorrow. He doesn’t hide his feelings but he is a very simple man. What I know about him is that he is a very honest man. He can’t stand dishonesty; he can’t tolerate people that are not straight-forward. If you are the type that is always running somebody down, you cannot get to work with him at all. That is why people say he is too hard. He is not an unstable person. If he chooses to support you, let the whole world be against you, he will stand by you. By the grace of God, by July 31st, we will be 37 years in marriage; we actually met in 1971. We have five biological children but we are also blessed with several other children. Our home is always filled with children. No matter what quantity of food we cook, there will always be people to eat it. I can tell you that I am very grateful to God for the kind of home He has given me. We have so many children and that is our joy. We have a life of giving; a life of investing in other people’s lives, a life of making others happy, a life of service to mankind and that makes many people to be around us. Of course, God has not disappointed us; He has blessed us all round. Indeed, I am a favoured woman.
One of your landmark achievements is the building of Faith Plaza Resort Centre, which is now being used for retreats and conferences by people from all denominations. Tell us about some other projects you have championed in the Diocese of Lagos.
With the grace of God, with the support of my husband, the cooperation of the women, the benevolence of our men and generosity of many people, one of the major assignments that God has given us is to cater for the orphans and widows through empowerment projects. We have a vocational centre where people are trained free. After this, we send them out on attachment to further train in established companies. We also buy them the needed equipment. As part of my birthday celebration, I gave out money to some women to start trading. Moreover, the spiritual wellbeing of the women is our major concern. We organize retreats and seminars; we also do various things to enrich their lives. This includes prayer meetings, conferences etc, all to make them happy and fulfilled. We also have outreach programs for various communities, e.g. the female prison vocational training program, medical outreaches, charity projects etc. Ours is a total package.
How do you get the women to support you in all these projects?
I said earlier on that I am a favoured person. I have around me the right kind of people. Another thing is that people must see the grace of God upon your life. Even people who don’t have much want to be part of the sacrificial giving, so it is not difficult for our women to cooperate. The vital thing is to make them understand and appreciate the grace of God in their lives and obviously, you cannot take the grace of God in vain. Nobody is forced to do anything; they do it willingly. If we are preparing for a program you see people coming to ask, “What do you want me to do? How can I be of help?” This is our joy and that is why we are recording success.
If you are to re-live the 60 years of your sojourn on earth, is there anything you would like to change?
I would say that if there has been any mistake, problem or challenge, it was a training ground. Anything that I have gone through that was not pleasant; God has used it to make me better. Those mistakes are the things that have helped me to improve. So, I don’t have anything I want to change. For every mistake made, if you admit your wrong and choose to improve on it, you will come out better. Even those people that are not cooperating with you or stand as antagonists, they are the people that make you pray more and to be more spiritually empowered by God.
So, what are your future hopes and aspirations?
The number one goal I have is that we will continue with God. I pray one prayer for my husband; that he will finish well. In less than six years he will retire as bishop. I don’t have any aspiration other than to do the will of God: for my husband to please God, my children to be in the will of God and for us to continue like that until eternity. I don’t need any material thing; all I want is to sit with Jesus in eternity. My desire is for me, my husband, my women in the diocese and even the men to know God better, love God more and bless people. My daily cry is that God be glorified and people be blessed. Material things will fade away but the things of God are of eternal value.