By Anthonia Soyingbe /Senior Reporter, Lagos
When 46 years old Tola Ajayi (not real names) sexually abused his 16-month old daughter, his distressed wife had no one to report her husband than her parish pastor who for over a decade has been mediating in the Ajayis home crisis whenever one occurred.
Sexual abuse and child’s right
She was advised by the Pastor not to blow the whistle in order to save her marriage and her known Paedophile husband who is equally an influential member of the Pastor’s congregation from public disgrace.
Mrs Ajayi as she instructed by the Pastor truly kept the occurrence within herself while she and her four daughters continued to live in fear in their home.
Unfortunately, 18 months after she caught her husband defiled her 16-months old baby, their 13-year old eldest daughter fell sick, it was soon discovered that she was pregnant.
The girl shockingly told her mother in the presence of the medical team that examined her that the father had been having sexual intercourse with her for three years but couldn’t speak out because he threatened to kill her if she ever tells anyone about whatever goes on between them.
Hearing this Mrs. Ajayi passed out but she was revived about two hours later.
Only recently, another case of child –sexual abuse was discovered in Abesan Estate, Lagos.
According to a source, a trader who deals in raw food items was in the habit of abusing a Primary Three pupil of the Abesan Primary School.
The source told Daily Independent that the child was often sexually molested until one day the girl came home late and her Guardian couldn’t help but roughly quizzed her for arriving home late. Then she innocently revealed how she had frequently been visiting a young man in the neighbourhood.
“The Guardian furiously pulled down the girl’s pant only to discover she was smeared with semen”, our source noted.
Continuing, our source said, “The girl was immediately taken to a Private Hospital in the neighbourhood where it was advised that the case be lodged with the Police and a report collected without which the girl would not be treated”.
Our Correspondent later learnt that this heinous crime was actually committed with the knowledge of the wife of the perpetrator.
Chairman of the Parents Teacher Association (PTA) of Abesan Primary School, Evangelist Akinpelu confirmed the story to our Correspondent saying he is aware of the development but insisted that since the accused person is in police custody he wouldn’t want to make further comment on the incident.
These two are just representational of many of such cases of recurring girl-child sexual abuse in the society.
The question that readily comes to mind whenever a girl-child is sexually molested or raped is -what is really responsible for this?
Unfortunately, the impact of a girl-child sexual abuse does not end when the abuse stops; this is because the long-term effects continue to interfere with day-to-day functioning of not only the child but every other member of her family especially the parents and siblings who feel the pain and agony of the stigma.
Children are known to pass through different stages of development and their awareness and curiosity about sexual matters also change from infancy through puberty and to adolescence.
Each child is understandably an individual and not a half adult and so will develop in his or her own way. However, there is a generally accepted range of behaviours linked to a child’s age and developmental stage. Sometimes these will involve some exploration with other children of a similar age. It can be difficult to tell the difference between age appropriate sexual exploration and warning signs of harmful behaviour.
This is why it is believed that parents, guardian and care-givers may need to explain to children why they would prefer them not to continue with a particular behaviour. Particular care may be needed in educating some children to understand their sexual development and to ensure that they can communicate effectively about any worries they have.
According to a recent research conducted by a Non-Governmental Organisation, Project Alert on 115 cases of sexual violence, it was discovered that there is no safe place for women and young girls as sexual violence occurs in almost every site and in public and private places.
The study also reveals that sexual violence is “a power relationship and may or not include physical contact between the victim and the perpetrator”. Despite the many reported cases it is however disheartening that most of the perpetrators of this criminal act are still walking freely in the society.
Two factors critical to Sexual Abuses are access and opportunity, says authors of the Project Alert research.
According to the report, “Sexual Abuse against girl-child knows no boundaries of geography, age, culture, education and economic status. Women globally are at the risk of sexual abuse. Sexual Abuse is seemingly on the increase with the daily reported cases in the media. With the myths like women make up stories about being raped, if a woman did not fight back and get hurt physically then it cannot be called raped and many other myths, it makes sexually abused women quiet of their experience.
“Health consequences of sexual violence are myriad and can be very severe. In addition to the injuries that may be sustained as a result of the physical force that may have accompanied the sexual assault, victim of sexual abuse also sustain genital injuries and gynaecological complications such as bleeding, infection, chronic pelvic pain, pelvic inflammatory disease, urinary tract infection and many other diseases.
“Aside the many diseases, sexual violence on children and even adults can also have a wide range of psychological and emotional impact including shock, anxiety, depression and most-traumatic stress disorder”, the report noted.
Victims according to experts are often fearful and anxious; experience disturbed sleep, have low self-esteem, sexual dysfunctions and behavioral and eating disorders. Victims are also likely to commit suicide. They may replay the attack over and over again in their minds and may have problems with trust and be weary of becoming involved with others. Aside all these, it may also leads to negative health behavior.
Sexual offences, especially rape, incest and defilement of children, seem to be continuing unabated, because of poor response to reported cases by law enforcement officials. Lack of diligence in investigation and prosecution and delays in the judiciary are also contributory factors to this.
If investigations by the police are to be diligently carried out, prosecuted, and suspects given maximum sentencing, it would serve as a deterrent to others. Furthermore, there is need for aggressive mass sensitization programmes on how sexual abuse of children especially can be prevented. The key things to ensure in preventing sexual abuse of children are access and opportunity. Sexual abuse of a child can only occur, if a predator has both access and opportunity to a child.
Since child sexual abuse is a multi-generational problem, children of an untreated child sexual abuse victim stand a five times greater chance of being abused themselves. No perpetrator of sexual violence should go unpunished.
Sexual Abuse of any child is a gross violation of women’s right, moral and ethical degeneration and a stain on collective conscience. Sexual abuse can lead to lost childhoods, abandoned education, physical and emotional problems, the spread of HIV and an often irrevocable loss of dignity and self-esteem. Sexual violence and abuses are wrong, what happened then is never the fault of child. Parents are also expected to speak out against any form of sexual violence on their child.
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