In commemoration of this year’s International Day for the elimination of all forms of Violence Against Women (VAW), the Young Christian Women Association (YWCA), Nigeria recently took the gospel of non-violence against women to the popular Tejuosho market, Lagos.
It was an interesting mix as some men justified violence against women while others condemned it in its totality. Senior Reporter, Anthonia Soyingbe reports.
All dressed in an orange T-shirt with an inscription “violence is not good on anyone”, armed with placards raised above their faces, members of YWCA led by its National President, Hwongchun Majak, joined women groups all over the globe to preach against the ills of VAW in the society.
The campaign rally by the group was indeed an eye-opener as it afforded some men the opportunity to speak out on why they inflict violence on women. Former United Nations Secretary General Kofi Annan once said, “Violence against women is perhaps the most shameful human rights violation. And it is perhaps the most pervasive. It knows no boundaries of geography, culture or wealth. As long as it continues, we cannot claim to be making real progress towards equality, development and peace.”
One of the respondents, Chibuike Obinna, a trader in the market, who couldn’t conceal his feelings said with annoyance that women don’t have any right whatsoever. Hear him, “I think the question you all should ask yourselves if you are really sincere is, if women actually have rights?
I am the head of my family and I can do whatever I want at any point in time to ensure she does my wish. I paid heavily to marry her and so she is subject to my authority. She has to do my wish anytime. Her rights were seceded to me the moment I paid her bride price.
Don’t you know at times women need slaps and at other times beatings before they do the needful?”, he asked.
Painfully he isn’t the only one who thinks women are an extension of a man’s property.
Abraham Azu who sells window and door accessories in Tejuosho market parroted Obinna’s opinion. He said, “you people have come again o! I don’t know where you got all these ideas from. I don’t know why we choose to imitate western culture. No wonder some women now hide under gender equality and other gender jargons to disobey their husbands.
For me, I will show my wife the door any day she questions my authority because I am the head and so she must accord me every respect that I deserve. She must always do my wish. I spent two weeks outside our home when she refused my sexual advances three months ago and she went around pleading with people to persuade me to come back home. I don’t have time for arrant nonsense and I will never tolerate any form of insubordination from my wife.”
Thank goodness, Joseph Ogbafe a commercial tricylcle driver in Yaba is different. According to him, “I don’t support any form of violence against women because women are also created in God’s image and likeness and being a woman doesn’t make men better than women. I will strongly advise that women should equally be submissive to their spouses as most women these days are uncultured. Even at that, there is no excuse for beating a woman, any man who beats a woman should be referred to a psychiatric home and such man is also a weakling. Most homes are now boxing rings and this in turn affects the children and by extension the society,”
Majak is of the opinion that women are gradually winning the war against VAW as many people are better informed on the ills of VAW. She however called on all relevant bodies not to relent in campaigning against all forms of VAW through regular sensitizations and campaigns.
“Violence against women is the product of learned attitudes and norms, and social inequalities. Just as violence-supportive attitudes can be learned, they can be unlearned. Likewise, communities and governments can change the social conditions that feed violence, replacing them with social conditions that encourage respect and non-violence. Our communities can no longer excuse the abuse. Our children, our sisters, our mothers and our grandmothers have a right to live a life free from abuse.
Much has been achieved to date, but the change needed requires coordinated and sustained effort on many levels. It also requires awareness raising, legal changes, national plans of action, and research. Gender based violence has been identified as a product of a learned behaviour and as such it can be changed, particularly through education targeted at young children, youths of both sexes, and women themselves,” Majak opined
According to a document released by United Nations, one in three girls worldwide will, in her lifetime, suffer violence directed at her simply because she is female. Violence against women has become as much a pandemic as HIV/AIDS or malaria. But is generally downplayed by the public at large and by policy makers who fail to create and fund programmes to eradicate it. Violence against women is also a ‘men’s issue’ in particular.
It is men’s wives, mothers, sisters, daughters, and friends whose lives are limited by violence and abuses. It is men’s issue because violence displayed by some men, give all men a bad name. It’s men’s issue because, as community leaders and decision-makers, men can play a key role in helping stop violence against women. It is a men’s issue because men can speak out and step in when male friends and relatives insult or attack women. And it is a men’s issue because a minority of men treat women and girls with contempt and violence, and it is up to the majority of men to help create a culture in which this is unacceptable. There is never any justification for VAW.
Below are some myths about VAW as published by White Ribbon organization
-Violence against women is an issue that only concerns women.
1. There is nothing we can do to stop violence against women.
2. Women should just remove themselves from abusive relationships.
3. Some people deserve to be beaten by provoking the violence.
4. Violence against women only occurs in specific groups.
5. Violent people are mentally ill or have psychopathic personalities.
6. Some people need the violence, enjoy it or are addicted to it.
7. Violence against women is caused by drugs and/or alcohol.
8. Violence only happens to a certain sort of woman.
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