Mrs Amy Oyekunle has an endearing look but behind this is a stiff opposition for every form of injustice against women. The Executive Director of Kudirat Initiative for Democracy (KIND), is a fighter for women’s empowerment. Senior Reporter Anthonia Soyingbe met with this trendy mother of three in her office and she spoke about her foray into activism.
Mrs Amy Oyekunle
A sociology graduate from the prestigious Ahmadu Bello University (ABU), Zaria, when asked what motivated her into activism, simply confessed that it all began when she was in the higher institution because women were subjected to sexual violence in her university. Hence, “activism for me began when I was in school, I saw lots of injustices being done.
One of the things young women had to contend with back then was sexual harassment. Many young women were victims, because they had to sleep with lecturers before they passed with good grades. I felt it wasn’t fair and nobody did anything about it. When I was doing my National Youth Service Corps in Abuja, I noticed that many young women were employed as bankers.
They were put on the road as sellers of their bodies under the guise that they were marketers and again nobody was there to fight their cause because if you wanted to do the work, you had to dance to your employer’s tune. Some people had no choice they did it. There are so many wrongs done against young women apart from the domestic violence.”
These occurrences according to her kept her thinking that there was need for some set of people to vehemently kick against every form of violence against women. This made her to make up her mind to fight the cause of her gender. She added: “I was ready to fight that and that was what led me to activism. I have been an activist for the past eight years and I am very happy about it.”
She later attended Leeds Metropolitan University, United Kingdom, where she studied hospitality management at postgraduate level. One would have expected that she stayed over to work in United Kingdom as some Nigerians do. She actually worked briefly upon completion of her programme, but she had to return to Nigeria as activism was flowing in her veins.
She was asked: Why didn’t you stay over in UK or better still do activism on part-time? With a straight face like a judge who on the verge of pronouncing a verdict on a case, she explained: “The truth of the matter is that I don’t think true activism can be done part-time.
Activism shouldn’t be part-time, you can’t be a lawyer today and tomorrow be an activist. It can’t work that way. Injustice is everywhere and injustice against one is injustice against all. For me, I speak up against injustice every time I see the opportunity. I think that many people will say being an activist doesn’t pay in terms of lifestyle, but I am so passionate about what I do.
My wealth and happiness come from fighting injustice. Money is important but it is not always important.” Speaking further on why she decided to embrace full-time activism, this wife, whose is close to a decade in matromony,but who could pass for a teenager explained,“Before I got married, I do tell people that this is what I am going to do for the rest of my life.
I just see that I couldn’t stomach some things and I am always very vocal about some certain things. In the beginning part of our marriage it was a challenge, my husband wanted me to work in companies, but after the third year, he realised that I couldn’t do all that. He knew that all those things won’t make me happy hence he calmed down about it.
My husband tells me everyday that I am the philanthropist and activist while he is the businessman of the family. Maybe that is what makes our marriage balanced because he keeps me grounded. When I am talking activism he is talking reality. More importantly I teach my children that they can fight for their lives and they should fight for their rights not only their rights but for the rights of others as well. This is making my family much better.
There are many times I have to travel for conferences and at times I travel to villages for research. I have a good husband, though it is not always balanced but we do try.”
Another thing that influenced her foray into activism was her expereice while growing up. An Uhrobo from the Niger/Delta region, who she readily calls herself “original wafi babe,” she lived mostly in the northern part of Nigeria.
“In my family, you can achieve what you want but it was not the case with some people in the North. We had a gardener then who had many daughters, yet he kept trying.
I asked him why he kept impregnating his wife every year and he said he would not be seen to be a man until he had had a son. His girls were not allowed to go to school, but the boys were the centre stage of life while the girls were abadoned to the corner. Coming from where I come from, there are many restrictions on women and I think that some women are stronger than men.
I told myself that I would never be boxed to a corner, I would matter wherever I am.
“I grew up in a community where a man once in a while will lock up his wife and give her the beating of her life. I didn’t like what I saw in my extended family community and I promised myself that it would never happen to me or any woman around me. These are some of the influencee that push and drive me everyday.”
A woman home is still her treasure, when asked how she has been keeping a balanced family and work life, she said, “For my home, patience has been our watchword. Patience on my side and on my husband’s side. When I was dating my husband the word ‘subservience’ got me crazy.
Anytime I heard the word from him then, I didn’t like it, but now as a mother of three children, I have learnt that in many ways you have to be humble and patient. Communication is also very important in marriage.
It is good for a wife to understand her husband so that at the end of the day he will also understand her. Communication is not just talking but listening. I can’t say that my marriage is perfect but surely it is a work in progress. We have both learnt that we both need to give a little.
If I am not happy about something, I look at the best time to discuss such with my husband even at that point if he doesn’t understand we revisit the issue and we settle amicably.
The spiritual aspect should also not be forgotten. I cry to God at times but God doesn’t give you more than you can bear. In all this, I am married to one of the most loving and he has never raised his hand towards me and sure he won’t by God’s grace. I too have never provoked him to that level,” she affirmed.
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