Stella Monye has spent over three decades in the Nigerian music industry. In this interview with REPORTER, Lukmon Akintola, she explains why she is yet to be married, her new love and why some people consider her an unsuccessful musician.
Do you agree with the people who say you never got to the peak of your career?
Stella Monye
I agree totally. The problem my music career had was inconsistency.
When I say inconsistency, I mean today I want to do music, tomorrow I want to do my civil rights work, and the next day I want to experiment on another thing. I like to put my hands into different things and that has made me inconsistent. I am always looking for something to do. I am not too-forward a person. Due to this, I don’t talk about myself a lot, which is the hallmark of show business. People didn’t know that despite my not been forward and my music not reaching the peak, I was still busy representing Nigeria in one country or the other
You took a six-year break from music, to work as a social worker, what motivated your return?
It was an interesting time and I even digressed to human rights activities. It accorded me the opportunity to meet people like Wole Soyinka, Beko Ramsome Kuti, Gani Fawehimi and Anthony Enahoro. It was interesting to have been on those road shows with them. Sometimes, even with Adams Oshiomole, who is now the Governor of Edo State. At a point, people who knew me as a musician couldn’t stop asking me question when they see me. They just couldn’t stop asking ‘why did you leave music to go and do civil rights work? You need to come and do that thing, which you know how to do’. I worked as a social service worker for seven years and sometimes it is not good to do the same thing for a very long time. I was a restless person and I would always want to move on to do something else.
When you started your Samba clothing line, you said it was basically for you. Has it turned a business now?
It has always been a business. They say the entrepreneur starts from little. I just have this love for African fabrics; I believe that they are comfortable. They’ve been underutilised, except for now that everybody is going global with it. My interest these fabrics made me decide to start making men’s design with it. I have been experimenting with it because people have refused to accept African designs. It is gradually becoming business. I want to see if I can affect the whole of Africa.
Why are you concentrating on men’s designs alone?
People have different desires and designs in their head. It was easy for me to conceptualise men’s clothes than women’s. Women’s clothing is complicated, but for a man, it is simple. I like simplicity.
Last year you said you still hope to get married, are you any closer to that destination now?
What can I say? You get to a point in your life when you start making certain important decisions in your life. When you are growing, if any man comes to you, you will see an excuse, either that he is too tall, too short, too dark or something. But as you grow older, you begin to appreciate people and their short-comings because you have yours too. I think I have gotten to that point where I can reside with somebody.
That’s why I said earlier that I am not a forward person and if my career has not gotten to the peak, it is because I have not done some desperate things.
In recent times, you’ve been shuttling between Lagos and Abuja, is this business or do you have a man there?
Well, business yes and relationship, yes. I have this lawyer friend who I had known before but we lost contact and we are back again. He is in Abuja and I, in Lagos. So it entails me travelling a lot. He comes over too.
In that case, should weexpect marriage soon?
I am hopeful. At least, I can stay with him. He is an okay guy. I am a sucker for intelligent people and he challenges me a lot. He stretches my brain.
What is his name?
You wouldn’t expect me to say it. All I can tell you is that he is a lawyer.
Is he one of the popular lawyers in Nigeria?
Definitely not.
Do you regret staying this long before considering marriage?
Yes, sometimes I sit back and think I would have felt better. That is because I am a very homely person; I am laid back, I don’t run around with men and those are the qualities of a wife. I should have been a wife a long time ago. It would have helped organise me more.
You once said the men you have loved have never been able to accommodate your job, would you new man do that?
This one is looking good. He is a Brass person; he is intelligent, he has resided abroad, so he knows almost everything about
entertainment. Though you can’t say because he is exposed, you won’t do what is expected of you. But in all, it is looking good.
Those days when you could not reside with a man under the same roof, how did you cope when you needed the comfort of a man?
I am a very strong-willed person and what I don’t want to think about, I don’t. I do what I want to. It was a choice and I decided to go with it. I don’t think I missed or regret that time. In fact, my new man and I are already talking about my having my own room, although he has said it will never happen. I like my privacy and that is why I want my own space so that I can be there whenever I want.
Is this setup not going to cause a problem between both of you?
No, I am going to stay with this one. I am going to convince him. I will have my own room and we are going to have a good relationship because I am a very loving person. If I am in a relationship with a person, I will like to wash his clothes and underwear. I won’t give it to a dry cleaner; I like to put the personal touch.
If you could do all these, why didn’t you settle down with someone before now?
I don’t know why for so long all these qualities were just inside me and still I wasn’t spurred to marry. I really just can’t answer that question.
Are you sure it is not that you are a lot calmer now that age is
perhaps no longer on your side?
I am different from other people; I don’t look at the time to anything. I always believe that if age is catching up with me, I must look for someone who is in my age bracket to go out with. So, I have never been in a rush for anything in my life. It is just that I met this guy, we have been friends for long but we broke up and we are
back again. I think we are just made for each other.